Episode 30 - Guest Rebecca Lee on Family, Saying “Yes” and Just Be There!
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Topic of Discussion
In this episode, we welcomed our special guest, Rebecca Lee! Rebecca is an elementary school teacher who loves decorating her home, snuggling her pets, and baking delicious sweets. While she enjoys being at home, she can also be the life of the party! She lives in Blaine, Minnesota with her boyfriend of nine years and her four furry animals.
Lueda and Rebecca are cousins, so they met how you think they would: through family. Separated by two and a half years, Rebecca often followed Lueda around when they were younger and looked up to her. Rebecca thought Lueda was so cool with her NSYNC posters and would often steal her clothes and wear her Blaine High School sweatshirt with pride (a big deal when you go to school in Maple Grove). Lueda showed Rebecca what college life was like while the latter was still a senior in high school. And, most importantly, Lueda introduced Rebecca to Chipotle.
Another fairy tale ending!
What really strengthened Lueda and Rebecca’s friendship was spending so much time together growing up. As they called it, their family is very “celebratory;” they celebrate anything and everything! This provided them ample opportunity to develop a long-lasting friendship. In addition to spending so much time together growing up, Lueda and Rebecca are close in age. As we discussed in Episode 12 -- do cousins make good friends? -- we believe that cousins can make for great friends, but it often helps if they’re of a similar age. Lueda and Rebecca prove this theory, as growing up going through similar life stages allowed them to bond and connect over shared or similar experiences.
Like many friendships, Rebecca and Lueda come together overeating any type of delicious food. Who doesn’t love to grab a meal with a friend and catch up while also filling your tummy with something delectable? Plus doing the most basic (but wonderful) activities like laying by the pool and watching shows like Grey’s Anatomy. But what really brings them together is a love of family. Events with family (holidays, birthdays, cabin trips) offer a plethora of opportunities to reconnect with one another in ways that feel unique, nostalgic and special to them.
Even though family often brings them together, they remain friends outside of family events because of the easiness of their relationship; no matter how much time has passed, when they see one another again it’s like no time has passed. The occasional texts, check-ins and trying to make time for one another for just the two of them also helps them stay connected and continues to build on their friendship.
For Rebecca, what friendship “looks like” is tricky; she believes it looks different relationship to relationship. Usually, it means loving and standing by your friend without question; staying loyal and true through any of the seasons in their life; laughing with them and supporting them; sharing with them the love that you have; having a sense of joy when you’re around them. Many of these aspects of a friendship are what she teaches to her students! These are lessons that she lives and shares with others.
Want to add to the conversation? Have questions for Rebecca? Tell us at areyoutwostillfriends@gmail.com !
Friendship Tip
In this episode, Rebecca shared the friendship tip of just be there. It’s the small things like sending a text, scheduling a dinner or happy hour, going on a mini-adventure, sending a card...anything to let your friend know that you are there for them and that you support them. In particular, Rebecca loves pictures; sending an old photo and saying, “Remember this?!” can be incredibly meaningful and communicate that you’re thinking of your friend, no matter the circumstances you’re facing.
But what about when your friend seems to rebuff your bids for connection, your attempts to let them know you’re there for them? That kind of vulnerability can be hard to repeat when it’s not met in kind by your friend. Rebecca recommends putting yourself in their shoes. Sometimes that means recognizing if the friendship is simply over; if it’s run its course, served its purpose. But if the friendship is still viable, it’s pausing to consider what’s going on in your friend’s life. Maybe there is something going on that they’re not ready to share with you. Can you provide them space while still being a present, intentional and steadfast friend?
What question is Rebecca pondering this week?
How can we stay focused on what really matters -- like relationships and moments -- rather than the day-to-day stress of our jobs, money and responsibilities?
Dang, Rebecca came with an adult question for us! This is a great one to ponder though, as many of us are feeling the grind of trying to live the good life, and then missing out on the opportunity to do so when it presents itself because we’re so caught up in the things that don’t matter. Rebecca doesn’t have any answers to this question yet, but she has been spending time rolling it over in her mind, especially in relation to her career. For her, it feels like there’s a lot of pressure to be successful, have a lot of money, and be on top of everything. But now she’s wondering how she can redefine success and stay present and connected in the midst of all the life happening around her.
Additionally, she’s also saying “yes” to things that scare her or bring her joy, in order to allow herself the freedom and even permission to live the kind of life she wants to live. Shonda Rhimes talks about her experience doing this in her book Year of Yes: How to Dance it Out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person.
What content is Rebecca consuming this week?
A Handmaid’s Tale; The Bachelorette
What a combo! This season of The Bachelorette in particular has a lot of meaning, as Michelle is from Minnesota, from a town called Edina! This town is near where Lueda and Rebecca live, so it hits home for them.
Rebecca loves the strong female lead (Elizabeth Moss) and the storyline in A Handmaid’s Tale. She strongly recommends checking it out! Keep in mind, a strong recommendation is a big deal for Minnesotans! It means a lot! I personally haven’t watched the show because I read the book, wasn’t a fan and decided I probably wouldn’t like the show, either.
What’s something uplifting Rebecca wanted to share with others?
It’s finally summer of 2021!
After everything that happened globally, locally and personally in 2020, Rebecca is feeling grateful the summer of 2021 actually arrived. She’s feeling uplifted by things returning to normal; being out and around people again; having a sense of freedom again. She’s spent part of her summer getting outside on the lake, spending time with friends and family and soaking up as much of Minnesota summer as she can. She, too, spends time at the same lake “up North” that Lueda talked about in Episode 27.
What’s something that’s sparked passion in Rebecca recently?
Getting back in her home this summer and changing the decor
She’s got a list of DYI projects, a basement that needs to be redesigned and buckets of paint -- what could go wrong?! Her favorite designers/influencers for home design are Joanna Gaines and Shay McGee -- both of whom have a line of products through Target — the embassy of nearly all Minnesotans. According to Lueda, Rebecca has a beautifully curated home. I now want to visit to get some inspiration!
In friendship,
Alexis & Lueda
