Episode 2 - Alone Time; Celebrate Special Moments; Pantsuit Politics; Fearlessness
Topic of Discussion
In this episode, we discussed Alone Time.
For Lueda and Alexis, Alone Time means different things. For Lueda, it’s been hard to practice alone time and it’s something she has struggled with.
As an extrovert, alone time can be very draining for Lueda, because being around people is what energizes her. It’s unplanned and/or consistent, consecutive alone time are indicators that Lueda has come out of harmony with herself and needs to address what’s arising in her life. (I.e., it’s her chance to hide from the world!) It’s a coping mechanism that she has worked on shifting into a positive aspect of her week.
Lueda is currently considering how she can be alone and be intentional in that space. She’s also looking for a balance between allowing alone time to lead her into more presence with people when she does spend time with them.
For Alexis, alone time is very recharging and refreshing. It can include a lot of different activities, but it usually doesn’t include being around others I know and love (but crowds at a museum, for example, I count as alone time!). Alone time is how I recharge and process the time I spent with others. As an ambivert (I talk about being an “intravert” during the show, but I was using the wrong term!), I can turn it on and spend time with people, but I need time alone to recharge -- it’s critical for me. Being an ambivert who is married to an introvert can be challenging at times. Growing in our marriage has helped us recognize boundaries and respect what the other person needs in order to recharge and refresh.
The battery analogy can help you visualize whether or not alone time drains or recharges you. The key takeaway is, “Alone time looks different for everyone.” What does it look like for you? Tell us at areyoutwostillfriends@gmail.com.
FYI, this is the Harry Potter clip we reference in the show (fast forward to 1:25):
Friendship Tip
In this episode, we discussed the friendship tip of “Keeping up with birthdays or special moments.” Throughout our years of friendship, we’ve discovered that when you celebrate birthdays and other big moments (holidays, milestones in the relationship, important moments for the other person), it lets the other person know that you’re there for them, that you love them and that you’re thinking of them.
I am really great at this tip, as I love sending gifts and letting my friends and loved ones know that I’m thinking of them. In recent years, I’ve also been really great at doing Galentine’s Day with my friends who live near me. It’s fun! And people always love it.
We discussed the hilarity of Ron Swanson’s birthday and Leslie Knope being the best gift-giver ever. Here’s the clip that will catch you up:
The line that captures the essence of this tip? “Why would I throw Ron Swanson an Ann Perkins’ party?”
This tip can come in so many forms, so let your creativity run wild! Step outside of the birthday and holidays box and find moments in your relationship that you want to highlight and remember every year. Or create a new one! We’ve found this is key for maintaining a lasting friendship. What’re your strategies for this tip? Send it to us at areyoutwostillfriends@gmail.com.
What questions are we pondering this week?
Alexis: What does it look like to be fearless?
I usually don’t choose a word or theme for the year, because it drops off for me. And by that I mean I’ve forgotten it. But this year, I’m focusing on being fearless. For me, that means when I’m scared about doing something, lean in and do it! Rejection won’t lead me to bleeding out. I’m reminding myself that my worth is not tied to what I do, but who I am. So I’m sharing more of the things I create and trying new things within my work. This is hard! But that’s why it’s a practice.
Putting a voice to fear has also been very helpful during this time. It allows others to become allies in my attempts to be courageous and not letting fear hold me back.
What content are we consuming this week?
Lueda: Pantsuit Politics Podcast - Gilmore Girls
Lueda struck a balance between information and comfort. Pantsuit Politics is a new podcast for Lueda and it has broadened her understanding and conversation around politics. Importantly, it emphasizes the fact that people are not their politics. It’s been powerful and helpful in providing Lueda language around politics that have happened over the last 40 years. This podcast has also helped Lueda disengage from Identity Politics...a practice that’s rampant within the U.S. right now.
And the hosts already feel like friends to Lueda!
Lueda is on her “800th” watch of Gilmore Girls...a show she loves. Her favorite characters? Listen to find out!
What’s something uplifting you’d like to share with others?
Alexis: Aussies Doing Things Instagram account
This is a simple, funny and joy-filled account that I return to time and again when I need a little boost or to see some nubby love. Aussies Doing Things never fails to make me smile and helps me step back from all the negativity that’s circulating on the Internet these days.
In case you want some cuteness right now, here’s my own mini-Australian Shepherd, Josie:
What’s something that’s sparked passion in you recently?
Lueda: Working! I love being employed.
Lueda just started a new job after many months of unemployment. Of course, she’s grateful to be employed again. But more than that, she has a passion for management and really does love to work!
In friendship,
Alexis & Lueda
