Episode 1 - Origin Story; Do Things Together; Bridgerton; Community
Topic of Discussion
In this episode, we discussed the origin story of “Are You Two Still Friends?”
As for the origin story of “Are You Two Still Friends?” we invite you to listen to the episode to get the proper background to this story! However, we’ll give you a little peek here: in college, when Lueda was visiting me one random Saturday, our swim coach happened upon us chatting in the parking lot. After exchanging hellos, our coach looked at us and said to us in earnest, “Are you two still friends?”
Lueda and I exchanged a baffled look before reassuring him that we were, in fact, still friends, despite Lueda graduating and moving into the next phase of her life. This is one of our favorite stories and we typically revisit it at least once a year.
Friendship Tip
In this episode, we discussed the friendship tip of “Do things together.” For many of us -- including these podcast hosts! -- we’re in a season that’s new and foreign. And that’s where doing activities -- really anything at all -- is incredibly important.
When thinking about our friendship over the years, we’ve bonded over a lot of things by doing them together: days spent at breweries, lunch at Chipotle, trips to new (but not always exotic) places. And when we think back on all of our experiences in-person and together, sometimes that looks like spending a day doing nothing (i.e. watching Harry Potter), and sometimes it’s going on grand adventures (like traveling through Japan for two weeks).
The activities will look different for every relationship, but it’s important to do things together as the two of you. In doing so, it allows you to create a safe space for natural conversation that wouldn’t happen in other settings (like larger groups of friends or acquaintances). When you’re active and doing things physically, it creates a natural space where each person is able to open up and connect. This builds the connection and strengthens the relationship.
As long-distance friends, we understand entirely that doing things together, in-person, isn’t an option every week or every month. We recommend setting aside intentional time to be together, to hang out and do whatever it is that you both find fulfilling and fun!
What questions are we pondering this week?
Lueda: How do I balance how passionately I feel while still listening?
Lueda has a personality that fills a room - her words! That’s one of the best aspects of her personality, but it can cause her to railroad other people and not listen to what they have to say. Especially when Lueda starts discussing something she’s passionate about, it’s incredibly easy for her to completely steamroll her partner(s) in the conversation. So this week, Lueda is taking time to reflect on how to be a better conversationalist and recognize how to share her passions without beating them into other people.
A clip that encapsulates Lueda’s passions (sometimes):
Things she does to be better at listening and to be seen and heard in other ways:
Journaling
Therapy
Prayer
Conversations with trusted people
What content are we consuming this week?
Alexis: Daring Greatly, Bridgerton
I picked up Daring Greatly by Brene Brown finally after being told and knowing that I need to read it. Now that I’m into it, I cannot stop underlining meaningful lessons and ideas!
In contrast to very meaningful reading, I’m also re-watching the new Netflix show, Bridgerton. The music and the main character have drawn me to re-watch this show. As I have, I’ve enjoyed this irreverent version of Downton Abbey and the inclusion of actors and actresses of color in all roles within the show. It reflects how the world really is!
Are there crossovers between what I’m reading and what I’m watching? Yes! It’s a Daring Greatly moment to cast people of all ethnicities and backgrounds in the show and normalize on TV what is already normal in society at large. Other than that, the show is reinforcing the importance of vulnerability and not allowing shame to guide my actions and choices.
What’s something uplifting you’d like to share with others?
Lueda: Prayer/Community works and matter
There are times when we undervalue the community we have. In the midst of the challenges and upheaval Lueda faced in 2020, she experienced a lot of shame and guilt. It was in those hard times, however, that she experienced community she doesn’t usually consider community. And when she finally landed a new job, after six months of unemployment, she realized that prayers from others that she considered outside of her community ended up meaning a lot and supported her through this time.
Thus, she’s taken the time to open the communities she is part of and to thank them for the support they provide, in big ways and small. Reading the book Transitions by William Bridges helped both of us be better about being a supportive community member in the midst of change (and rely on our community and know that they’re always there to support us, no matter how long it takes).
What’s something that’s sparked passion in you recently?
Alexis: Working on a memoir with my grandma
Last year my grandma experienced some serious health issues which made me want to get all of her stories out on paper. It’s been amazing talking with her on a regular basis and hearing stories from her and spending quality time with her in the way I can.
In friendship,
Alexis & Lueda
