Episode 16 - Grandparents as Friends; Respect Cultural Norms; The Chosen; Virtual Businesses

Support this podcast and guarantee future episodes!

Topic of Discussion

In this episode, we wrapped up our mini-series on whether or not family members make good friends. In our final episode, we discussed grandparents as friends!

Catch up on this mini-series by listening to Episode 11, Episode 12, Episode 13 and Episode 14!

Lueda feels that grandparents make great friends! I think it depends, but I agree they can make great friends. Grandparents, unlike the other members of the family we’ve discussed in other episodes, have a special aura about them. If you have a grandparent with whom you have a good relationship, as you get older you find that they start making for great friends. 

What grandparents offer is a wealth of information, curiosity, intentionality and time. All four of these facets are often present in grandparents and sometimes not present in the other family members/friends that we discussed. It makes fertile ground for deep connection between two people. Often with grandparents, there’s built-in respect within the relationship as well as a closeness that can’t exist between a kid and parent. Because they’re older, they often have more time and space to connect with you and really listen to what you have to share with them.  

Lueda’s paternal grandpa died before she was born; she was born on her paternal grandma’s 80th birthday but passed away when she was in high school. She knew her grandma, but she didn’t have the opportunity to get close with her, but she did inherit a love of life, people and meat from this grandma! Her maternal grandma died when she was in college. And while she wasn’t particularly close with this grandma either, she does have fond memories with her. Her maternal grandpa is still alive and she absolutely adores him. She’s very close to him and feels he is very invested and interested in her life. She gets to bond with him over coaching, running, history and all of his fantastic life experiences. 

I have three living grandparents. My maternal grandpa died the year I was born; my maternal grandma is alive and we have a great relationship. Both of my paternal grandparents are alive, but I currently am not on speaking terms with them (which is why I say “it depends!”). With my maternal grandma, I have a relationship that I thoroughly enjoy and cultivate. I try to call her once a week to connect. I think she loves to talk to me about all the things happening in her life and she loves to ask me a lot of questions about what’s happening in my life. 

We believe that in order to have a good friendship with your grandparents, it takes intentionality, patience and communication. It’s crucial to reach out to them and remind them that they’re important, that they’re wanted, that they’re needed in our lives. When we reach out to grandparents, it reinforces the relationship and lets them know we care! In old age, many people feel as though they’re relegated to irrelevance. Being intentional about your communications with them is a crucial way to prevent that from happening. This means regularly reaching out to them, but also taking an active interest in their lives and asking questions!

Patience is also crucial, as sometimes grandparents need extra help, time or just want things to stay the way they are. Pause and appreciate how much life they’ve lived; it’s okay for them to not constantly evolve and want to stick to the way they do things or sharing the same stories over and over again. Remember, would you rather hear or deal with these circumstances over and over again, or not?  

Are you friends with your grandparents? Tell us about it at areyoutwostillfriends@gmail.com.

Friendship Tip

In this episode, I shared the friendship tip of respecting friends’ cultural norms. 

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Well, duh!” I don’t blame you. This seems like a no-brainer. But after living for nearly three years in Japan, I’ve discovered that it’s really, really important to respect other people’s cultural norms if you want to have meaningful, long-lasting relationships with them. Living in a foreign country caused me to pause and really consider how I can be more intentional as a friend and mold some of my patterns of friendship to fit the behaviors of my other friends. This is not to say I’m not acting authentically and or turning myself into a doormat; instead, I’m finding ways to respect my friends in a way that communicates love and respect to them. 

This tip goes beyond the cultural norms we find between different countries and applies to really any type of “culture” you’d find yourself in with friends: states, religions, families, sports groups and so on. When you pause and think about it, we’ve all been exposed to many different cultural norms throughout our life. It’s when we can find ways to respect those cultural norms (which includes sometimes not participating or simply observing if that practice isn’t for you!) that we deepen friendships and communicate our respect for those in our circle. 

In the show I talk about how in the movie Matilda, the Wormwood family’s cultural norm was eating in front of the TV every night.

Also, we talk about Lueda’s favorite hot dish in this part of the episode! If you’re wanting to try it for yourself, check it out here! Plus, get a bonus recipe of sloppy joes!

Thanks to Lueda’s mom for sharing this recipe!

What questions are we pondering this week? 

Alexis: How do I transition my business online? 

I’m preparing to move back to the U.S. this summer. In doing so, I’m losing a lot of in-person clientele. Thus, I’ve started to contemplate and map out how to bring my business online so I can bridge the gap and hopefully continue to support my family financially while also contining to serve clients. I’ve already got a headstart with the free yoga nidra meditations I offer on a weekly basis. Check them out at wifeinthewildblueyonder.com/wild-blue-yonder-meditation/

What content are we consuming this week? 

Lueda: The Chosen

This online TV show depicts the life of Christ through the gospels. Lueda has really enjoyed the interpretation and illustration of the gospels. As a visual learner, this has helped Lueda understand some of the gospels more fully, it’s provoked some deeper thoughts for her as well as some questions. Lueda is also reading through all of the gospels this year, all year long, so this show is helping her get the fullest picture possible of the story. Here’s the trailer if you’re interested!   

What’s something uplifting we’d like to share with others?

Alexis: Conversations with friends! Especially Episode 15 of Are You Two Still Friends!  

I felt so uplifted and buoyed by the conversation Lueda and I had with Nishann LaNata for Episode 15! And this reminded me that good conversations with friends can be so uplifting and make me feel like my cup runneth over. If you think back, I’m sure you can think of a time when you had a wonderful conversation with a friend. How did that make you feel? That uplifting feeling is one that’s always available -- just a lunch date or phone call away!

What’s something that’s sparked passion in us recently?  

Lueda: Grief looks different for everyone. 

It may sound odd that this inspires passion in Lueda, but she’s found a lot of freedom and space in this concept. In allowing for grief to look different for everyone, there’s more space to come together with compassion, empathy and kindness when others are processing their grief. This allows us, as humans, to connect with others in a way that’s meaningful and loving -- rather than superficial and judgemental. As of late, Lueda has discovered that she wants to be a safe person where people can openly grieve and she can hold the space needed in that moment. Doing this allows Lueda to be a better person, manager, friend, family member and member of her communities. 

In friendship,

Alexis & Lueda